Years ago, I took a corporate negotiation class where one instructor taught us a “power move” with a completely straight face: call the other side by the wrong name.
Bob? Call him Rob. Jennifer? She’s Jessica now. Feeling especially bold? Get the gender wrong.
The theory was simple: a rattled counterpart is a weaker counterpart. I laughed out loud. The instructor did not appreciate my feedback.
But here’s what surprised me: it actually worked. I watched accomplished professionals lose their footing because someone “forgot” their name. The pettiest tool in the negotiation toolbox… and people fell for it.
Fast-forward to my career in business and, later, law. I still see versions of it. Recently, a senior professional addressed me as “Mr.” in writing — while giving me instructions. Textbook execution. My old instructor would have been so proud.
I laughed then, too. Because here’s what I’ve learned:
People who are winning on the facts rarely need psychological games.
Whether the wrong name was intentional or an honest mistake almost doesn’t matter. Your response tells the story. If you become flustered, they’ve gained something. If you smile, correct it if necessary, and keep making your point… they’ve gained nothing.
Ironically, my husband has called me “Amanda” for years because he swears I look like one. If being called the wrong name were enough to derail me, marriage would have finished me off long ago.
So the next time someone gets your name wrong at the negotiation table, don’t let it become the story. Keep making your argument. The strongest position is the one that doesn’t need tricks.
Sincerely,
Amanda 😉